I’m pretty sure that many of you have watched The Vampire Diaries, and you know what I’m talking about. But for those who are not familiar with the series, it is shutting out all your emotions. The vampires in the series flip their humanity switch to shut out all the pain and suffering that they experience (on their own accord). After they do so, they feel nothing. No emotions, whatsoever until they are triggered by a person or a memory, forcing them to feel all the pain that they had been holding back, all at once. All the bottled- up emotions crash over them like tidal waves and the amount of guilt and remorse they experience in those moments are terrible.
My point? We all have done something similar at one point of our lives or another. We stopped giving a damn about anything or anyone. Initially, it was all good. No feelings, no pain, no guilt, no remorse- nothing! But no matter how bottled- up our emotions are, we snap. It’s completely human and it’s nothing to be ashamed of! Also, the more you suppress your emotions, the more depressed you get. The repercussions aren’t exactly paradise, you know? You might subject yourself to even more remorse than the one you tried to escape.
So how do we fight it? We don’t. We overcome it. It takes time, yes, but it also hurts less once you’re through. How do we do that? Coping mechanisms. Each one of us has a different coping mechanism. Mine is writing 20 pages in my diary about what I’m going through, watching series [*the fangirl in me nods in agreement*], doodling for hours at an end or reading books. Some might prefer to sweat it out in the gym or hit a punching bag (or a pillow) until their steam blows off. Do it. No matter what it is that calms you down. But flipping your humanity off? No. That is not the way you deal with it.
You’re going to think that the pain will never end, but it will. But first you have to let it all in. You can’t fight it. It’s bigger than you. You have to let yourself drown in it. But then eventually you’ll start to swim. And then every single breath that you fight for will make you stronger. And I promise you, you will beat it. -Elena Gilbert [TVD S06 E22]
So there you go! You’d know better than turning off your emotions the next time you consider doing so. Also, let me tell you something; displaying your emotions isn’t wrong. People judge- it’s what they’ve been doing for centuries. They haven’t been through what you have. You are a strong person who is probably just going through a rough patch. Remember, this too shall pass.